Don’t Drink the Fabuloso: For Suicidal Christians Too Afraid (or Too Condemned) to Ask for Help

Yes, you read the title right. Do not freak out. For my charismatic believers, do not get the holy oil and start speaking in tongues and/or casting out demons that may not actually be there. Just let me explain. A Brief Synopsis of My Mental State I am not okay. …

What No One Tells You after a Suicide Attempt (Part 2)

*If you’re interested in reading Part 1, click here* When you’re filling out paperwork, after being hospitalized, and the personnel asks you if wanted to die, if you really meant to jump, do not tell her the truth; they’ll only use it against you to keep you locked up longer. …

Writing in the Midst of a Flashback

6 A.M. A nurse disturbs my nightmares, and temporarily prevents me from my ritual of staring at the wall upon sweating myself awake, to take my vitals. She wants to make sure I’m still alive, even though, by virtue of this place, I am considered one of the walking dead. …

A Letter to My Abuser

Dear Voldemort, I am not a social butterfly, but you took me under your wings and, for a time, made me feel like I could soar. I know that’s cliché, especially considering all the future pain you would cause, but for a little while, it was true. By watching you, …

When Forgiveness Doesn’t Eradicate PTSD

As a Christian, I’m supposed to forgive everyone so that God can forgive me of my sins. I was once an enemy of the Most High, so who am I not to forgive someone who wrongs me when God forgave me of all my junk? Easy, right? No, not really. …

On Discussing Trauma

I think the hardest aspect of trauma, especially in the context of recovery, is talking about it repeatedly. In my experience, I’ve only discussed it in detail with a counselor and my former pastor, as he has training as a licensed psychologist. I thought that talking about it to strangers …