Panic Attacks and Sexuality in the Church

My pastor talked about sex last Tuesday night. I knew that before I got there, thanks to the Facebook post on our mid-week service page. In hindsight, I probably should not have gone, but I’m getting ahead of myself. For context, we’re currently going through the book of Ephesians and …

The Siren Song of Self-Harm

These past few weeks have been hard, especially Tuesday. Tuesday was a hellish day because it marked 4 years of dealing with the Beast that is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. You would think that after some time, especially with the introduction and implementation of coping mechanisms and breathing techniques, the Beast …

An Honest Conversation about Suicide

I did not want to write this, but it needed to be said. This is hard for me. Please give me grace. An Honest and Vulnerable Prayer God, please, if You are, at all, merciful like they say You are, like I know You to be, please kill me. Please. …

Hope in Lamenting: When Life Has No Easy Answers

Sometimes, there’s no easy answer—or an answer at all!—for life’s hardest questions, especially for a Christian.  I doubt no one really wants to know the reason behind some of the things I ask God in the wee hours of the morning because talking about such things makes people uncomfortable and …

The Night I Discovered the Bible isn’t THAT Important

I know I might accumulate a lot of hate for this post; or perhaps, no one will even notice my words on this page, but for those who choose to see this to the end, just stay with me. I promise this is going somewhere. I Have a Secret to …

How to Conquer a Writer in 4 Easy Steps

Take a lover of words, a passionate wordsmith, and silence her voice. Do not let her speak her mind or share her heart’s treasures, be it aloud or on the page.   Dismantle her hope. Fill her head with dreams of grandeur and when she firmly believes she has a …

If Chester Bennington Could Have Listened to Dear Evan Hansen, Would it Have Changed His Life?

That’s a dangerous and important question. I don’t know the answer to that, only God does, but it plagues me just the same. The anniversary of his death is approaching us soon and I know a lot of people just like myself are going to be affected by it. It …

The Hope of the Messiah in the Midst of Pharisees

When I was washing my cup out late last week, I washed the outside first and then the inside. I usually don’t do that. I usually wash it the other way around. I didn’t think anything of it until Holy Spirit reminded me of this verse: “Woe to you, scribes …

Reasons to Stay (During the Nights when Depression Makes You Want to Quit)

I think God would be sad if you came home early. There’s ice cream still in the freezer. You haven’t learned/mastered that Chicken Marsala recipe yet. You still haven’t written your book yet (think of your characters!). You wouldn’t want to miss the next Hamildrop, would you? There are still …

There’s Always Tomorrow to Kill Yourself (Except Not Really-Psalm 116:9)

After I hopped out of the shower tonight, fully comfy in my pajamas, my eyes fell on my covenant ring and its corresponding verse popped up in my memory: Psalm 116:9. For reference, the verse simply states, “I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living.” Just …